The Richard Leonard Blues (A Jeremiad)

Richard Leonard Blues

I’ve got a contemplation window

In my cell at Holyrood

I see the seagulls over Calton Hill

I’d join them if I could

Nobody seems to hate me

I've read all the questionnaires

Nobody can even remember

The colour of the tie I wear

I just wanted to be like Jeremy

I’ve got the haircut and the suits

Two first names were not enough for me

I've got the Richard Leonard Blues

I’ll always be a Yorkshire lad

This accent's the only one that I've got

I’ve been in Scotland 40 years 

I still sound like  Geoffrey Boycott

And yet no-one  recognises me

It’s been a problem all my life

A woman called Karen told me last week

She’d just remembered she’s my wife

Those Blairite bastards are trying to bring me down

And some Bolshevik bastards too

But when I asked which bastard will replace me

No bastard has a clue

So Richard Leonard will have to do

Copyright Tom Morton 2020