The Ballad of Tunnock & Lees - excerpt from Walking the Doggerel, available now for a fiver!

New collection of song lyrics and poems from The Malt and Barley Revue, The Fairly Good Show, My Bad Gospel and Scar Quilse's Referendum Songbook. A fiver or so in paperback.

Walking the Doggerel by Tom Morton | Make Your Own Book

The Ballad of Mr Tunnock and Mr Lee

I’ve lost faith in beer and wine

No nicotine for quite some time

Facebook and Twitter - just boring me

All I want is Tunnocks and Lees

When life seems hard, when things get squalid

Just give me sugar and cocoa solids

The products I know will scratch that itch

They come from Uddingston, they come from Coatbridge

Mr Tunnock, Mr Lee

The pleasure you have given me

I gave you my molars and my wealth

But I would sacrifice my health

Mr Tunnock, Mr Lee

You will always be in my dreams

Teacakes, Snowballs, Wafer Creams

Some swear by Cadbury, by Frys or Mars

No Quaker could create the Macaroon Bar

Sometimes sugar just will not suffice

There are other passports to paradise

You must taste and try before you die

The products of Mr Whyte and Mr Mackay

But tastes expand, you crave variety

Then Elgin City is the place to be

116 years of whisky for sale

At Mr Gordon’s and Mr Macphail’s