An East Coast kiss
And so, we’re here
Happy New Year
I said, and then I tripped
Before I knew
What I was doing
I’d kissed her on the lips
No no, she said
And shook her head
That’s inappropriate
I’m sorry, I lied, and she replied
That garlic that you ate
Quite gave me a turn
And I returned
To the years I spent in France
Bien sur, Je disais
Thinking: that was easy
Voulez vous a peerie dance?
We cut a rug
And drank a jug
Or two of Bloody Marys
Then it was time to go
Through the ice and snow
The trip was pretty hairy
To her Marchmont door
Where we kissed some more
I’d been eating spearmint creams
But when I said
I think it’s time for bed
She said, Casanova, in your dreams
I hitched a lucky ride
Back to East Kilbride
I glimpsed a sign in the morning light
But it wisnae true
'Embra welcomes you'?
Aye. That will be shining bright.
I was welcomed home by my Rottweiler Lee
On the sofa she’d done a copious pee
So I opened a Belgian Golden Ale
And sat, like Oor Wullie, on a pail.
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