The Dundee Vegetarian (for Mike Ritchie)

I quite like fish, maybe you’re surprised

As long as I don’t have to look them in the eye

The thought of dead cow makes me hae a fit

Unless they’re ground up into tiny wee bits

Don’t think if I see a tree I hug it

I’m very partial to a chicken nugget

But no if it’s got feathers and a squawking beak

The very idea makes my knees go weak

I don’t eat red meat

But mince and tatties just cannae be beat

I’m no a contrarian

Just A Dundee vegetarian

I make exception for pies or pehs

I could eat an ingin in every single day

But what’s inside can be a mystery

As long as it comes with brown gravy

You say I’m a hypocrite, I don’t care 

I’m from Dundee things are different there

I like the animals in the Camperdown zoo

But I don't like the taste of a Whitfield Coo

I don’t eat red meat

But mince and tatties just cannae be beat

I’m no a contrarian

Just A Dundee vegetarian

Copyright Tom Morton 2014. All rights reserved