Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Four Seasons In One Day (Considering a Move to Shetland)





I wore a mask in Glasgow, and nobody said thanks
Just stood and stared like I was going to rob a bank 
I tried to get tested, nobody wanted to know
I remembered the nice nurses on that Island Medics show

I got on my Goldwing and drove to Aberdeen
Boarded the ferry, everything was nice and clean
I thought I’d be in Shetland soon and things would be all right
Then they told me it was fourteen hours and we’d sail overnight

Islands in the sun 
Islands in the rain
Islands in the snow
Still 23 hours to go
Don’t ask me why
It’s snowing in July 
Apparently it’s always been this way
Four seasons in one day

The voyage was so rough I was amazed we stayed afloat
They had to call a doctor just to get me off the boat
I rode to see some cliffs and then a seagull hit my head
If I hadn’t worn my helmet then I’m sure that I’d be dead

A killer whale attacked me as I walked along the beach
And ate a baby seal as  I scrambled out of reach
I had mutton soup and bannocks, drank 12 red tins of beer
And instantly decided I would like to move up here


Now I’m a Shetland crofter and I can’t believe my luck
I wear a Dickies boiler suit, I drive a pick up truck
I smoke the stuff I grow myself, I love to count my sheep
I’ve met a girl called Bo who says her second name is Peep

Copyright Tom Morton 2020. All rights reserved. Social media sharing encouraged.



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