The Tory Midge

The Tory Midge

The Scottish summer

Comes with an itch

Courtesy of

The Biting Midge

Cullicoides 

Impunctatus

Ubiquitous, the thing 

With that is

You can’t escape

Your blood gets sucked

Even vampires

Are out of luck

Especially at Loch Awe

Or Oban

Where every drop 

Of haemoglobin

Has already been

Imbibed

By the horrid

Midgey tribe

Indeed, the whole

Argyllshire area

May be infected with

Malaria

In which case, you could well

Be stuffed

It might be time

To say: Enough!
No gin and tonic
Or Mojito
Can guard against
The Scots mosquito

You can’t eat scenery

When it eats you

It’s time to move

To somewhere new

The Pyrenees 

That mountain air!

And nothing to fear

But snakes and bears

Or England, which has 

Conservatives

In power, and that’s

No way to live

Remember, come autumn

Midges disappear.

Tories remain

Throughout the year.