Lament for Diaper Don

He mutters to himself

He’s so unhappy

And then he soils himself

They change his nappy 

And that’s a job which is

Really crappy

Get a clean one on!

Diaper Don

Disposable thank God, 

Not Terry towelling

Sometimes there is a need 

For careful trowelling

Don’t find yourself downwind

Or you’ll be howling

In the environs

Of Diaper Don

For him golf is the sport

Passion arouses

He shouldn’t wear those creamy 

Golfing trousers

They have to keep spares at

The halfway houses

He’s a phenomenon 

That Diaper Don

He can’t put a pair

Of big boy pants on

Better avoid the chair

He’s been sat on

Thing is he doesn’t care

Who he has shat on

He’ll soon be gone

He’s Diaper Don