Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Weather Bomb Disposal Team: new poem. And order the collection Walking the Doggerel for Christmas

Walking the Doggerel: Unreasonable Verse by Tom Morton. Available now here

The Weather Bomb Disposal Team

Apparently, this one is black
TV presenters
Are putting on anoraks
Unchained from their workstations
Actually going outside
It’s really quite windy
Down there on the Clyde
Which, it seems, runs from Glasgow
Right down to the sea
(I’d never guessed
That’s how rivers can be)
But anyway, here we are
In Largs, Ardrossan or Ayr
- It’s really quite easy 
To get a crew there -
The waves are quite wavy
And splishing and splashing
But in breathable Goretex 
Everyone looks quite dashing

Look, there’s a cafĂ© - 
They’re shutting up shop in despair!
They’re out on the terrace, 
They're stacking the chairs!
If things get much worse
Says the owner, looking grim
We might even have to
Start carrying them in
And there’s a couple of greyhounds
Out there on the prom
Doing their business
With great natural aplomb
They’re both squatting calmly
Looking like kangaroos
Their owner’s got plastic bags
He’s going to pick up the poo!
What a great TV moment
What grace under pressure
It’s at times like these
We take humanity’s measure!

Quick! Point that camera and shoot
Make sure the memory card’s loaded
The weather bomb’s here, and thank God

It’s exploded!

1 comment:

Karin said...

Fantastic - just cheered up my morning.