Thursday, July 09, 2020

I'm Going to Stay at Home (No Half-Price Takeaways)

I don't want to drink in a pub full of plague
Have dinner half price in a shed
I've got my Brewdog subscription
I'll eat Kentucky Fried in bed
I  don't want to stand in some sweaty club
Nursing  Tennents in a plastic glass
When I can watch Glastonbury on TV
For as long as I need it to last

I'm going to stay at home I have no doubt
It's nice in here, there's no need to go out
I've got Uber Eats and Deliveroo
And I don't have to talk to the likes of you
I like being alone
I'm just going to stay at home

Some old singer said he and the band
Just want to have a little fun
They recorded an album in lockdown
They need to top up their pension funds
And all of those actors with their acting stuff
Darlings,  theatre's had its day
I need fast forward and I need live pause
If I'm going to watch a play

 I'm sorry for those backstage dealers
With their Es and hash and speed
But I have my sourdough starter
And it's all I'll ever need

I won't commute to an office
I don't care what anybody thinks
Won't stand for hours on a train that smells
Of Costa, sweat and Lynx
I can run this helpline from bed
Telling people how to use 5G
And if idiots want to keep blowing up masts
Well that's all the more work for me

Copyright Tom Morton 2020.

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