Russia Today (My Own Show)

I love Russia, the Russians are cool

My best friends call me the Moscow Mule

I don't like vodka, it makes me sicklyA

Unless i drink it  very quickly

Have you ever seen their  marvellous dolls?

They're either  far away or they're extremely small

Russia! Dearest Russia, how I hold you dear!

I love you just as much as I love North Korea

And if all else fails I know I'll be OK

I'll have my own show on Russia Today

Oh, Russia, You're not my mother

But you would be, If I had another

Her name was Mary, I just wanted to please her

She came from Scotland, without a visa

She used to say that I was bound for hell

I found it in the Moscow Ritz Carlton Hotel

I've a Faberge egg my friend Vladimir gave

There's more to that company than aftershave

Voldemort  said it would be a pity

To end up  in Salisbury or Mexico City

I remember what Trotsky's girlfriend said

Life's better without an icepick in your head

And if all else fails I'll know where to go

I can do the traffic

On Sputnik Radio

Copyright Tom Morton, 2020

Note: That's a Selmer "222", a cheap starter guitar made in Britain under the Selmer name which cost 11 guineas in 1966, when mum and dad bought me it for my 11th birthday. It's been through a lot in 54 years. And still stays roughly in tune.