Friday, August 07, 2020

Scottish Teeth

Scottish teeth

For more than six months I've been waiting
But now my molars are disintegrating
I would even vote for Nicola Sturgeon
If she could provide me with a dental surgeon
Infection is inflaming my features
But they're saying: No aerosol procedures
It's my belief 
I'm suffering from Scottish teeth

I was going to go to Hungary to get some crowns
But my trip fell victim to the first lockdown
And when the toothache started I was in distress
I had no option but the NHS
I got an appointment I was going to be seen
But alas these days I live in Aberdeen
There's no relief
I'm suffering from Scottish teeth

I was raised on Black striped balls and Irn Bru
Soor Plooms, Love Hearts,McCowan's Toffee too
Double nougats and sliders with raspberry sauce
Macaroon bars and sherbet straws
Tunnocks caramel wafers and teacakes
And that special tablet my granny would make

They used to take out all your teeth in your 16th birthday
In Glasgow, that was the kind and generous way
Instead I got mercury fillings galore
The jags and the drilling were both always sore
But now I'd give anything for some oral action
I'll vote for whoever will get me an extraction
Oh good grief
I'm suffering from Scottish teeth

Copyright tom Morton 2020

No comments: