Scottish Teeth

Scottish teeth

For more than six months I've been waiting

But now my molars are disintegrating

I would even vote for Nicola Sturgeon

If she could provide me with a dental surgeon

Infection is inflaming my features

But they're saying: No aerosol procedures

It's my belief 

I'm suffering from Scottish teeth

I was going to go to Hungary to get some crowns

But my trip fell victim to the first lockdown

And when the toothache started I was in distress

I had no option but the NHS

I got an appointment I was going to be seen

But alas these days I live in Aberdeen

There's no relief

I'm suffering from Scottish teeth

I was raised on Black striped balls and Irn Bru

Soor Plooms, Love Hearts,McCowan's Toffee too

Double nougats and sliders with raspberry sauce

Macaroon bars and sherbet straws

Tunnocks caramel wafers and teacakes

And that special tablet my granny would make

They used to take out all your teeth in your 16th birthday

In Glasgow, that was the kind and generous way

Instead I got mercury fillings galore

The jags and the drilling were both always sore

But now I'd give anything for some oral action

I'll vote for whoever will get me an extraction

Oh good grief

I'm suffering from Scottish teeth

Copyright tom Morton 2020