The Amateur Ambulanceman

.and all kudos to the GENUINE paramedics, for whom no praise is too great...a wee ditty from Blind Boy Flugga. Based on real events. Allegedly.

THE AMATEUR AMBULANCEMAN

There’s a blue light in my brain
There’s a siren in my mind
You may think that I’m strange
Making these noises all the time
Try to understand
I’m an ambulanceman

I have practised my first aid
On my sister’s Sindy dolls
They were in a dreadful state
But I attended to them all
Amputated hands
I’m an ambulanceman

I’m an ambulanceman
I’m concerned about your health
I’ve got an old Transit van
I converted it myself
I won’t leave you for dead
I’m an ambulanceman inside my head

I lurk in laybys listening for emergency calls
And practice artifical respiration
I use my inner arm and sometimes I use my wrist
Though I dislike the taste of perspiration

I have some old syringes
I have boiled them in a pot
And if you get some twinges
I’ll inject you in a shot
With some Canestan
I’m an ambulanceman

CHORUS