Having snaffled the last steak pie available this lunchtime from Herds the butchers in Aberdeen, I confidently asserted that this was the finest pie of its type I had ever tasted, and that the future of Scottish tourism rested on The Great Steak Pie Trail.
Tom Morton Show listeners being noted for their interest in things pietastic, what follows is a list of suggestions for anyone interested in immersing themselves in the glories that our fair land has to offer in terms of...pies. Though I should point out that the Scottish Federation of Meat Traders has its own championships for both traditional and specialty steak pies. And indeed for almost everything else made with dead animals. Though frankly, I feel I must question the authoritative status of awards for black pudding that do not include anything from the Outer Hebrides...
The TMS listeners' list also fails to coincide at any point with the SFMT award winners. But don't let that put you off! I was once asked to be a judge for the Scotch Pie World Championships, so they're obviously fine fellows.
THE TOM MORTON SHOW LISTENERS' LUSCIOUS LIST OF GREAT STEAK PIE OUTLETS
Helensburgh: Billy McCune's Prime Cut Butchers - from Malcolm
Tarbert Loch Fyne: 'The butchers': Suggested by Anne from Skye, who also recommended the lamb from Bowmore in Islay.
Aberdeen: Herds Butchers for me, but Ewen makes a strong case for steak pie and chips from the Dutch Mill Hotel in Queen's Road.
Glasgow: Jaconelli's Cafe in Maryhill Road has already been recommended in a national newspaper for its ambience, but an anonymous texter punted its steak pie slice supper (peas extra).
Oban: Jack remembers, nostalgically, as you do, eating the pies from 'Gladys' and then playing fruit machines upstairs at the Gateway.
Lochinver: Jenny suggests The Pie Shop. Which seems appropriate.
Dunblane: Dave approves of the local butcher's steak and black pepper pie
Perth: Burnsy from Perth applauds Stanley Murray Butchers' pies
Broughty Ferry: Interesting suggestion from John fae Birnam. Ashers of Nairn for their pastry, Robertson of Broughty Ferry for filling. If one could only combine the two, he says...
Montrose: An anonymous paen of praise for the 'runny fat' available locally.
Inverurie: 'Lord of the Pies' claims either the steak or mince pies available on match days at the Loco Works ground are magical.
Arbroath: Myra says go to Flemings of Arbroath
Wooler in ENGLAND! Jason in the Borders travels 15 miles over the Border for his pies. What can I say?
Troon: David Blair says Connors in Troon for their New Year pies.
Forres: Frasers of Forres, claims Barbara, produce 'great pastry'
Ely: Alistair, in his career as an itinerant drummer, says the best he ever tasted was in Ely, although...
Peebles now supplies him with excellent 'pepper gravy' pies.
And finally, according to DT
Hampden Park in Glasgow supplies reasonable pies, but he did ask 'oven cooked or deep fried'?
Phew! All that and I can also tell you that you CANNOT be breathalysed for erratic bicycle riding, NOR can you be disqualified from driving for riding a bike drunk. But you CAN be charged and fined. Keep pedalling!